I'd like to introduce two of my favorite therapy coping strategies. I use them both time and time again because they each contain several different skills. They can also be used in a time of crisis like the beginning stages of a panic attack. "Be the Bendy Tree" (MyACTAuntie) is used mainly in my kid and teen sessions and "Dropping Anchor"(Russ Harris) is used most often with adults and older teens. Both are rooted in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and contain several mindfulness based coping strategies. The skills can be used to help a person learn to cope with difficult thinking and emotions that get in the way of living. The struggle to get rid of feelings can be exhausting and often ends with frustration, self-judgment and depression when avoidant strategies fail. We feel worse when we judge ourselves for not being able to get rid of these feelings. Then we also discover that we've missed out on doing and acting in ways that are meaningful to us.
The two most common difficulties that show up in my office find themselves on either end of the spectrum of anxiety dysfunction. On the most severe end of the anxiety spectrum is the panic attack (based on my clients' complaints). The less severe end of the spectrum (but also very debilitating) is the loss of focus and concentration due to intrusive anxious thinking. I hear constantly, "I can't get out of my head". "Be the Bendy Tree" and "Dropping Anchor" are so flexible that they can be used with both these types of struggles. It's most helpful to practice a skill daily when calm for it to be most useful in times of higher levels of stress. They both have the goal of grounding a person in the present moment while ALSO allowing difficult emotions to be present. Ultimately, we can move through the skill more quickly with time and be able to get back to doing what is important to us without the burden of intrusive difficult thinking and feeling. However, it is difficult at first and the invasive thinking and feeling will be noticeable, while we work on doing what it is important while having them. The work is hard in the beginning and then eventually with lots of skills practice, our brains just automatically know what to do.
Be The Bendy Tree (kids under 12)
Anchor like a tree.....
Press your feet really hard into the floor, imagine yourself strongly grounded and anchored.
Notice and Name your emotions and bodily sensations. For example, "Here's anxiety", "Here's butterflies in my tummy". Drop the struggle and just allow them to be there. You don't have to want them to be there, You don't have to want them or like them but don't try to push them away. Resisting them can just make it worse. Emotions are just messengers. They will not hurt you.
Push all the air out from your tummy first and then naturally allow yourself to take in some nice deep breaths... in and out...in and out...
Now you feel grounded and can look around and notice and name 4 things you can see, name 3 things you can hear.
Be like a strongly rooted tree with bendy flexible branches and let thoughts and emotions just flow through you.
Dropping Anchor (older teens/adults)
Close your eyes and find a comfortable sitting or standing position. Notice your breath but don't worry about trying to control it. Just notice your breath. Maybe you can notice the temperature in the air and how it feels on your body.
Notice and Name what bodily sensations, thinking or feeling that is present as your eyes are closed. For example, "Here is anxiety in my chest", "I notice coldness in my hands", " My heart is beating fast", "I am thinking about how silly I feel", " I have thoughts about how much I don't like my work" etc.
Move into your physical body, stretch your arms or push your feet into the ground. Get a sense that there is body around these thoughts and feelings that you have control over. Move some body part while also checking in with the inner thoughts and feelings.
Open your eyes and look around to notice what you can see is happening in the moment. Name a few things you can observe in front of you.
Close your eyes and go back inside to notice and name what thinking and feeling is present....
Go back through the 3 steps over and over until you get a sense of being anchored/grounded and can get back to doing what is important in that moment. (Step1. Notice and Name thoughts and feelings inside your body. Step 2. Move your body. Bring your awareness to your sense of control over your physical body. Step 3. Open your eyes and name what you can see around you.)

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